There are a few great certainties in life that we have heard over and over again.

Death.

Taxes.

And the yellow first down line in televised football games is never wrong.

Except when it is, which was the case in the LSU-Texas A&M game Saturday night.

Ever since the yellow line was “invented” — and make no mistake, besides air conditioning and ATM machines, it should be considered one of the great advancements of humanity — it has always had a degree of certainly to it.

Sure, it could be an inch or two off, but it was always close enough. Yellow Line Guy was the boss and it made watching football so much more enjoyable because you didn’t have to wait for the talking heads to tell you if it was a first down or not. You got real information instantly,  instead of what was going to be on the next episode of 60 Minutes.

But then Saturday night came along. Simply put, Yellow Line Guy had a bad night.

On the list of egregious calls that LSU fans have accumulated following the Tigers’ 7-overtime loss to the Aggies, some are by fans who are misinformed on the rules. Others are judgment calls that went against LSU that are well within acceptable we-got-screwed parameters.

But there’s also the one that came in the chaotic final moments of regulation, when Texas A&M completed a fourth-and-18 pass that kept the last-second drive alive. But wait! The A&M receiver was clearly down before the yellow line! And yet the refs signaled first down and didn’t even stop to review! Conspiracy!

Screen shots were instantly uploaded all over the Twitterverse, clearly showing the evidence. This was backed up by the fact that, as everyone knows, Yellow Line Guy is never wrong.

But he was this time. The first down marker was at the LSU 43, not the LSU 41 as the yellow line indicated. The officials saw it was clearly a first down, which it was, and had no reason to stop for a review. But the rest of TV public? Not so much.

You mean we can put a man on the moon but we can’t get the yellow line to be within two yards of the actual first down marker? No wonder LSU fans were in such a lather.

But if you looked at the previous play, you can see the yellow line was in the right place on that play. Somehow, it got moved one play later. Maybe they poured Gatorade on Yellow Line Guy as well as LSU Coach Ed Orgeron after the non-interception on third down.

But having watched the bits and pieces of the replay, rest assured that this wasn’t a one-time thing. It was  not a good night for Yellow Line Guy. Even in overtime, he was asleep at the wheel on at least two other occasions (one was on Nick Brossette’s touchdown run).

At least death and taxes are still in play. Unfortunately.

Seems to me that this Black Friday stuff has gotten way out of hand. Well, actually, it should have never been in hand in the first place.

I’m not sure when the term started, but I do know that throughout the 1980s, countless local news hacks insisted on telling us that the day after Thanksgiving was “the busiest shopping day of the year” when, if fact, it wasn’t and isn’t.

Here’s one reason why — IT”S NOT EVEN ON FRIDAY ANY MORE.

These days, every Tom, Dick’s and Macy’s is starting its Black Friday on Thursday (i.e. Thanksgiving, which doesn’t sound much of a thank you for those store employees). Why start on Thursday? How about Wednesday? How about September 21?

As a veteran non-Black Friday participant, I gotta ask — is it really worth it? Seriously, how many people do you see hauling out a 72-inch 4K TV at 2 in the morning? You know, they do sell iPhones on the other 364 days of the year.

I’m just guessing here, but won’t those same get-three-candles-for-the-price-of-one offers still be good at, say, 2 in the afternoon? In December?

The day after Thanksgiving should be reserved for eating leftovers and watching a couple of half-decent college football games (the ones that really aren’t good enough to put on Saturday).

After all, if you’ve seen one fistfight as the doors to Walmart swing open in the middle of the night, you’ve seen them all. That never seems to happen on Cyber Monday which, interestingly enough, does actually happen on a Monday.

Happy shopping!