Beneath a blue May sky they ride. Wasp, Red Wasp, Hornet, Yellow Jacket. The Four Horseman of My Most Hated Insects.

‘Tis the season, when this pack of wolves in bee’s clothing are out and about, stinging innocent bystanders, causing you to look like you’re practicing karate when you are just trying to shoo and dodge. Unless it’s a City of Byrd Yellow Jacket, they can all take a hike.

So far this spring, I am 6-for-7. Four have bitten the dust with Wasp Killing Spray, one with a garden hose, one with a fly swatter that I have turned into a Wasp Eliminator. The one I missed was a mid-air half-swat when Mr. Wasp juked and jived me just as I was about to Roger Maris him into the Insect Afterlife. I must give him props; the man had moves. Most do. I enjoy it when they do not.

I love a bumble bee and a honey bee. I’m sorry they are in the same sort of naturistic family or phylum. (I don’t think naturistic is a word but you know what I mean.) Bumble bees and honey bees get a bad rap because of their Satanic cousins. Wasps “and them” are Gremlins in a world of Chevy pickups and Mercedes. Both are rides, but…

Too bad, because unless threatened, a honey bee or a bumble bee wouldn’t hurt a flea. Or a bee.Love ’em as much as I hate their fellow flying insect brethren.

If I never see another one, I’m good. Unless the rest of the ones I see are dead. Then I’m extra good.

They feed on nectar and pollinate plants and have their purpose. But if it means no more wasps, I can do with a few less plants.

-30-

Let’s be honest — you’d never heard or Cinco de Mayo until about 10 years ago.

Another day, another made up holiday.

It would be nice and fitting if this were Mexico’s Independence Day, but it isn’t. (That’s September 16).

It would be nice if people in Mexico recognized it is a national holiday, but they don’t. (It really only celebrated the state of Puebla.)

So what we have is a holiday that we care more about than they do that really isn’t a holiday.

Sounds like a holiday some beer company invented to sell more Dos Equis or Corona.

Here’s how it all went down: Cinco de Mayo all started back in 1862 — we had a situation of our own back in ’62 so no wonder we didn’t pay any attention — and is a holiday that recognizes a W by the Mexican army over the French army in the battle of Puebla.

See, now that in and of itself ought to be a red flag. Beating the French army? Like that’s a big deal?

The Mexican army had no depth whatsoever — they were listed as 8-to-1 underdogs on the Vegas line — and the French were loaded with draft picks, but nevertheless it became a major source of pride.

But it was short-lived because the French came back in extra innings and captured Mexico City anyway and ran the country until they screwed that up and high-tailed it back across the pond and have been producing really good chefs ever since. I guess that counts for something.

Feel free to have an extra chimichanga and knock down a Tecate on May 5 if you are in Council Bluffs, Iowa. Just don’t expect a lot of that to be going on in Mexico City.