The main thing you want to do on the day of your colonoscopy is to bat leadoff. You want the doctor’s Colon Implement to be fresh and clean.

Second won’t get it and Lord have mercy, batting eighth or ninth is death. Bat first because otherwise, you don’t want to know where that bat has been on Colonoscopy Day back in OR.

Yesterday we guided you through the Back 40 in regard to Rookies Who Need To Go Ahead And Get Your First Colonoscopy. Here’s the link:

http://www.designatedwriters.com/uncategorized/colon-alert-the-ol-back-40/

The night before “the procedure” – getting the water pumped off the field so she’s playable – is the hard part. Drinking the goop they give you is not for the fainthearted. It has the consistency of chalk and sand, like drinking the inside of an hour glass with a little water in it. Liquid Roto Rooter is what it is.

That’s the time to “man up,” when you devour this medicine that strips the paint off the walls. It is during this time that you want to stay close to your home locker room. Obviously, this is no walk the park. If anything, it is a run in the park.

Then the next morning, be in the on-deck circle a clean hour before your at-bat. You can thank me later.

Sigh…these concessions we make to age. And I thought giving up the daily Mountain Dew was hard.

I will confess that the reason I’ve agreed to annual checkups is that I love my colon, not really on a touchy-feely level as much as in a feral, digestive system kind of way. And when your colon turns 50, regular screenings are suggested since colon cancer, in its early stages, often shows no signs or symptoms at all.

So … Bottom’s up!

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Someone dreamed up getting together to drink coffee with Shreveport’s Dr. Billy Bundrick, now retired and the namesake of a couple of training rooms at Louisiana Tech, the University where he starred in football and the University he donated so much to during his career as an orthopedic surgeon. Used to it was coffee and donuts at Dr. B’s office. Some guys would drive over from Ruston, the rest from Shreveport and Bossier.

But then he retired, and now the bunch has expanded and eats out. This has gone on for a few years and now it’s become a semi-regular thing. The lastest time was last week, and the people crammed around some tables at Strawn’s Too and having much fun together were guilty of being there.

From bottom right and going counter-clockwise, you’ve got Sam “Chief” Wilkinson, Lee Hedges, Jimmy Orton, Teddy Allen (the group’s imposter, dutifully covering The Event for DW), FCA director and Tech football letterman Terry Slack, Benny Thornell, J.W. Slack (the father of the son), Dr. B, his cousin Dr. Jim Williams, and Bobby Aillet.

Most Tech fans not only know those names but have plenty of stories about each of them. Present company excluded, you could form a pretty good team — and in several different sports — with these guys.

At one point, another group of the same type characters met weekly at Southfield Grill; that group started with around 47 and is down to a handful, mortality being what it is. This is a sort of satellite group and some of these guys are members of both groups.

The important thing is they still get together when they can. There are the old stories to tell, grandchildren stories to tell, and the latest “Who’s having knee or hip replacement surgery this week?” stories to tell.

Joanne Sigler, wife of Orvis Sigler, the late and deeply respected and loved Centenary College coach and A.D., was in the room by happenstance and read the crowd her latest book, a third-poetry, third-coloring, and third-writing book for children. It was like being in grade school again, and that she would take the time says a lot about her shared feelings with these men. She signed off with a couple of kisses and this: “God bless coaches, because nobody else will.”

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