(From Designated Contributor Don Walker in our Florida/East Coast Offices…)

Greetings from A Land Afar.

How “afar” is it?

It’s afar enough that:

  • It snowed in Shreveport today while we topped out at a record 88 degrees here in sunny Brevard County, Fla.
  • The “tropical wave” churning the waters of the Atlantic hinter islands had threatened to put the prospects of my Thanksgiving Day turkey meal into the “Cone of Uncertainty.”
  • My at-home cable subscription that only shows Florida teams forced me to go to Buffalo Wild Wings on Sunday to see another New Orleans Saints victory while the wife and I laissez le bon temps rouler-ed with a shrimp Po-boy and hot buffalo wings doused in creamy Ranch dressing.
  • A Modern Stone Age Florida man dressed as Fred Flintstone was arrested while driving a foot mobile: https://www.usatoday.com/videos/news/nation/2018/11/13/police-mock-arrest-man-and-car-dressed-fred-flintstone/38514365/
  • More than a week after Election Day voting machines across the nation were locked and stored back at their respective warehouses, Florida is still counting!
  • Nick Saban fantasizes about a head coaching gig at the University of Central Florida, where the Knights have self-declared themselves National Champions and have stretched their winning streak to 22 games.
  • Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson are playing a post-Thanksgiving pay-per-view round of match play golf for $9 million. That would be No. 13-ranked Tiger versus 27-ranked Phil. The only way I would watch this, let alone pay to watch it, is if it was $9M of their own money at stake.
  • While white water rafting in a glacier-fed Alaskan river, a guide said this to me after I asked him a question: “My Mom was a school teacher. She always said, ‘There’s no such thing as a stupid question. However, there are lots of inquisitive idiots.’ ” Wait, what?
  • I said this while eating breakfast on Saturday: “You can’t andouille what’s already been ‘douilled.”

Hopefully one of these made you smile.

From the balmy Atlantic Shore,

Donnie Golfgame