(Actually instead of DW Teddy Allen, today’s effort is by Special O’Designated O’Contributor O’Teddy Aiden Dylan Conor McGrath O’Sullivan O’Allen O’Jr. O’Jr.)

Things come in threes, they say.

Shots from beyond the arc. Strikes from a pitcher. Deaths of celebrities.

But only in rare cases do we get such a rich week of A Special Three Days as we are concluding now.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! It comes on the heels of Pi Day Wednesday, Ides of March Thursday, and today, St. Patrick’s Day Saturday.

Friday, March 16, was interestingly enough the fifth wheel out in a four-day span. March 16 is a day still looking for a purpose. March 16 can hold on to this: at least you were a Friday. We’ll take that.Thank you!

You, the loyal Designated Writer Reader, might wonder: Why do we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? You might even wonder why we HAVE St. Patrick’s Day since the last thing you’re going to do is celebrate it: crap, you have grass to mow or baseball practice to go to. “And if anybody pinches me because I don’t have on green, I’m going to…”

For one thing—and even I, who am as Irish as a shamrock, had a hard time grasping this—although this is St. Patrick’s Day, even the Irish call it St. Paddy’s Day for short, subbing the d’s for the t’s. Why? From drinking too much green beer, that’s why. It’s the natural slur of things…

If you’re an English teacher who is not Irish, sorry, you don’t get to call the shots here. The Irish rule of thumb (we will explain “rule of thumb” in a in a future Daily Happen because we have only 300 words here, and we’re dealing with a lot of days) is that it’s St. Paddy’s Day. St. Patty’s Day celebrates St. Hamburger, and you can celebrate that anytime you want. I celebrated it this week on Monday, Tuesday and Friday.

Sickeningly, we’ve run out of room and can’t explain Right Now why we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. We will next year. In the meantime, if anyone threatens to pinch you today, just tell them you have on green underwear, that your middle name is O’Leary, and to leave you O’lone.

Have a fun Saturday!, Irish or not.

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