One of the great things about opening up a newspaper (you remember those, don’t you?) or logging onto a news site is that you never know what you might read about.

The latest revelation came when I discovered the names Nicki Minaj and Jesse Palmer in the same sentence. I know who Palmer is; I barely know who Minaj is.

How did these people get mentioned together? The old fashioned way — one of them is threatening to file suit against the other one.

As you might guess, Nicki Minaj is usually not on my radar. I’ve seen her in a movie, I hear she’s a rapper and I know she wears a lot of wigs. That’s it. To be honest, she could walk in the room with Mary J. Blige and Missy Elliott and I’d have no clue.

Jesse Palmer is a different story. That guy is everywhere, from being a marginally decent quarterback at Florida to to the NFL for a cup of coffee to The Bachelor (so proud of myself for never watching) to being a college football analyst on ESPN (where he actually does a pretty good job). I see him on some goofy cooking commercial that I can’t decide if it’s real or a joke.

Little did I know that Mr. Palmer is also hosts a show on something that is called Daily Mail TV. Which brings us back to Miss Minaj.

Palmer reported on his newscast the Nicki is now dating a registered sex offender. Despite the fact that it is a matter of public record, Miss Minaj went ballistic on Instagram by threatening “to sue this hoe,” telling Jesse that he is going to jail and “you better have a good lawyer.” My favorite part is “#Jesse Palmer #Arnold Palmer” in the Instagram post.

Is that in reference to the legendary dead golfer or the half tea/half lemonade concoction he made famous? What does The King have to do with this? Can’t the man rest in peace? #RIP

PLEASE let this go to court. It would be the greatest trial in the history of American jurisprudence. Too bad Arnie won’t be around to see it.