By TEDDY ALLEN/Designated Writers
In a shocking development, we are moving on from LSU’s National Championship. Sort of. No one else in the state has so this is sort of a game of chicken. BUT, if you wish, there is some good LSU stuff at the bottom of this Happen.
Instead of lauding LSU — very deserving for plaudits and lauding, and no one loves a plaudit and laud like DW — we rehash, instead, Christmas. Specifically, What We Got.
In short, the motherlode.
Not pictured here is my shirt. Blue with some red and white. Pretty sharp. Wish I looked better in it but you can’t make chicken salad out of you-know-what. People claim to have done that, but they got food poisoning.
Instead, pictured are items Mrs. Santa left me in my stocking.
Start on the left with the Car Freshener and move clockwise.
I got an air freshener last year too, but this year I read the directions. I never did click the thing in back that ignites the air freshener. Anyone can GET an air freshener; the key is IGNITING the air freshener. (Thank you, Jerry Seinfeld.) Both, including the one 364 days old, are now working beautifully.
Got an Origin Bank thingy that you plug into the hole in your car and it lets you charge things. I’m appreciative.
Got a deck of 33 cards with “meaningful” Deep Questions on them. “What does this world need more of?” First thought is good cheese grits and/or bacon. This will keep me occupied through all of spring and deep into summer.
Next is — and I shouldn’t have to write this because it is so obvious — a Star Wars Storm Trooper PEZ dispenser. And all the people said — Amen. And “I am your father.” (It’s a Star Wars thing…)
Next, and you can barely see it, is a lint brush. That you can barely see it is appropriate because Mrs. Santa Claus said the lint brush is to be kept in her Substantial Closet. We have to share. But you’ll agree that a little bit of lint brush is better than no lint brush at all.
And finally the obligatory pens and highlighters — never underestimate them — and the Santa Claus chocolate bar wrapped in Santa Claus money.
God bless us, everyone.
And congrats again to LSU. The stars aligned, but people worked hard too. We won’t see a season like that again for a while.