By JOHN JAMES MARSHALL/Designated Writers

Everyone is grinding the College Football Playoff final four teams and talking about all the reasons why they got in. Eye test this, resume that, yada, yada. Of course, a kindergarten class could have chosen these four teams before naptime.

Which is why the Daily Happen feels an obligation to tell the remaining teams — all of whom thought they had a shot at one point in the last few weeks — why they didn’t make it to the semifinals.

5. GEORGIA: You lost to South Carolina. You played a semi-home game in the conference championship and got ‘blowed out.’ Either one of those oughta be enough, but you had both and still you finished No. 5. Where did you get those pictures of the selection committee members in compromising positions?

6. OREGON: Keep thinking about that bomb that Arizona State threw on you on Nov. 23 after you had come back from 24-7. Of course, you shouldn’t have ever been behind 24-7 to a five-loss team in the first place.That’s why you aren’t making reservations right now. Which is kind of a shame, because the Ducks had an otherwise nice body of work.

7. BAYLOR: By being 1-11 two years ago, there is a natural inclination to dismiss the idea that any team could improve that much that fast. Oh, and did we mention that you beat UT-San Antonio (four wins), Rice (3) and Stephen F. Austin (not the basketball team)? Plus, there were some close wins against some very average teams (Texas Tech, TCU). You did go toe-to-toe with Oklahoma twice, but there is a common denominator in both — each ended with an L.

8. WISCONSIN: Thanks for taking Minnesota off our hands, but we will need you to explain Illinois (24-23 loss). A good half against Ohio State Saturday was nice, but not nice enough.

9. FLORIDA: Be happy with what you got and keep quiet. You got some serious SEC bounce.

10. PENN STATE: You really didn’t beat anybody, other than better-than-average-but-far-from-great Iowa and Michigan. And you let Minnesota have it’s greatest moment since Bronco Nagurski.

11. UTAH: You got drilled by USC, played a horrendous non-conference schedule and even with all that, you still had a shot. Then you spit the bit against Oregon. Be thankful; it would have been ugly if you had made it.

12. AUBURN: With three losses, you’re lucky you made it this high. And you won two games in which you were … let’s just say … extremely fortunate.

13. ALABAMA: You can almost hear it right now … “We’re undefeated with a healthy Tua.” While we are trying to ignore that thought, now go explain the defense, which gave up 86 in the two biggest games that mattered.