When you gotta go you gotta go.

Designated Writers understands, supports, and “gets” this. We feel your pain. We’ve felt OUR pain. Daily. With age, it happens.

But…

Yesterday a friend in the restaurant bidness sent me a text and photo: “Just when I think I’ve seen it all … someone opens their minivan sliding door and tells their kid to pee in the drive-thru…”

That was his text. The picture was of a kid, standing in the back of the minivan, peeing in the drive-thru. I mean, it’s right there. And granted, from the stream and arc, the kid had to go.

The thing is, there was an actual toilet not 20 feet from the child. But the caregiver said, IN A DRIVE-THRU, let ‘er rip.

And the kid did.

In the picture there is one of those little squares with the suction cup hanging on the passenger side of the minivan’s windshield. You know, the ones that usually read “Baby On Board.” I cannot tell from the photo but I guess this one says “Urinator On Board. (Steer clear! Just sayin’!)”

Sigh…

Thirty-plus years ago I covered the Waterproof at Wisner homecoming football game. In a tiny plywood pressbox, I sat with the PA announcer. I actually sat outside at first because it was a cool night; the mosquitoes, stinging me like tiny British Spitfires, drove me inside.

By halftime, the PA announcer was drunk on whiskey he had in a brown paper bag; he drank it straight from the bottle between plays. Fine. To each his own. Except that after he had announced the Homecoming Court — they’d been driven one by one, seated on convertibles, mostly 1980s Mustangs, around the field — he moved out of my line of sight and I heard what I thought was a faucet running. Neg. He was peeing, in the back of the plywood pressbox. On a night when it was at least 110 degrees of heavy north Louisiana air.

I moved back into the stands. I’d rather fight the mosquitoes.

The dateline on my story was WISNER —

I should have made it WIZNER —

Gee whiz…Some people…

-30-