Teddy Allen/DESIGNATED WRITERS

The most awful uniforms known to mankind won the College World Series last night.

But the best team did too.

How Vanderbilt overcame their haberdashery is a mystery only the Baseball Gods could know.

These uniforms fell out of The Ugly Tree and hit every branch on the way down. They were not as much uniforms as they were modern art, which should sum it up. Modern art hits the tape at about the same time as today’s country music, which is Gut Bucket Drivel in the opinion of this bureau.

I wanted to post a picture of Vandy’s uniforms but the computer would not allow it. That’s how bad they were.

Thank you to Abner Doubleday and Nashville, our greatest inland city, the Commodores won Wednesday night’s Winner-Take-All Game 3 against fun-to-watch Michigan team, 8-2 or something like that, in white pants and gold jerseys, a sensible styling, much unlike the military green of Monday night’s loss or the heavy black pinstripes of Tuesday’s win. You look at these uniforms and automatically gain 10 pounds. Maybe 20.

And maybe that is what the Vandy coaching staff wanted. “Let’s look slow and ugly.” If so, mission accomplished. But they didn’t play that way. The ugliest and best team won.

Which goes to show, it doesn’t matter how you look out there. It matters how you play out there. Coastal Carolina won two years ago with Russell Athletic jerseys that costs $6.99 a pop. Good for them.

And Vandy beat Michigan–again, a fun team all week–in jerseys that a bowling team wouldn’t wear. It’s not what’s on the outside that matters. It’s what’s on the inside. And Vandy had far and away the most of that.

S-E-C! S-E-C! Oh please, none of that though…

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