I try to pay as little attention as possible to professional soccer, no matter what the country of origin is. But for back-to-back days I’ve been hit with “breaking news” of some Champions League soccer team stunning another Champions League soccer team with a comeback of Biblical proportions.

Turns out, one team won the first game and the other team won the second game. Now, that sounds simple enough … let’s tee it up for Game 3 and see who the real winner is. You can play it my backyard if you like, but let’s settle this baby.

Then the word “aggregate” started popping up.

First, it was Liverpool losing to Barcelona 3-egg, then coming back and winning 4-nil the next game in the Champions League semifinals. But because Liverpool scored more aggregate goals (4-3), it was winner, winner, chicken dinner.

It was called a “comeback for the ages” … except the ages lasted 24 hours. Tottenham had lost 1-0 to Ajax Amsterdam, then went to Amsterdam and red-lighted three second-half goals to win 3-2. So wait a minute, they each scored three goals total, right? Correct, but there’s another non-sensical tie-breaker and that is “most goals scored on the road.” Since Tottenham scored three, that’ll do it.

This scoring system is how they settle youth baseball weekend tournaments when a bunch of teams go 4-1 in pool play. They play for Twizzlers and Airheads, not for giant piles of money.

I would ask the question of why not play a third game, but this is a sport that refuses to buy into the concept of a functional clock, so I’ll leave it alone.

No doubt these are exciting comebacks, but let’s try to embrace the best-of-three concept that we’ve been using on this side of the pond for a few centuries now.