Eight years ago in May — maybe it was nine — from our hotel room high in St. Louis, we could see fans by the thousands cruising into the downtown Scottrade Center arena for the Lady Gaga Monster Ball Tour last Saturday night.

The joint holds about 20,000. They tell me every seat was occupied for a high-dollar performance from what was the world’s hottest female entertainer and, as of this weekend, an Oscar Winner for Best Song in this year’s A Star Is Born. From the outside looking in, I can report that I’d never seen so many women in short black dresses, painted faces and high heels.

I’d never seen so many men in short black dresses, painted faces and high heels either.

The whole block screamed fishnet.

But Lady Gaga was not the reason for the trip. Nothing against Lady Gaga. I just didn’t want to hand over $175 for a ticket. I wouldn’t pay $175 to see Merle Haggard and the Strangers, and it was in my contract at the time that if Merle Haggard ever died, I’d get a free week off. (It was in my contract, but I still didn’t get the week off. I did, however, get two days.)

For the great unwashed, I can also report that there is no disputing that Lady Gaga can sing, play the piano and entertain. Not all singing stars can sing, you know. She can. And my sources tell me — we sent the kids and stayed back in the safety of the hotel — she had the crowd near tears with pleas to “get along” and “love each other” and whatnot. Well said. True, cameras caught her flipping off photographers a couple of weeks before that night at a New York Mets baseball game, so maybe she just wants us to get along in American League ballparks. Or maybe she didn’t want the bikini top she’d worn photographed. Or maybe – and this is probably right – maybe flashing what’s usually an obscene finger to press row was her way of saying “We’re No. 1.” But maybe not, since the Mets were six-and-a-half games out of first in the National League East.

She won her Oscar. Now let’s see what the 2019 Mets can do.

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