It’s four days into 2019. How are those new year’s resolutions going for you?

(And while we are at it, what is the expiration date on being able to wish somebody a Happy New Year? A week sounds fine, but anything past that seems a little over the top.)

There is no place more Ground Zero for new year’s resolutions than the health club. I have been a loyal devotee of my health club for 15 years – and I joined in a non-New Year’s Resolution situation – so I feel I am eminently qualified to discuss this matter.

If I were a compassionate person, I would applaud these people for getting off a body part and/or furniture and trying to better themselves.

But the reality is that they clog up the whole operation for the rest of us for about two weeks and then disappear into thin air from then on.

They are pretty easy to spot – there is a general cluelessness about them, but they are usually dressed in the latest fluorescent regalia. They tend to spend a large amount of time talking to others than actually doing exercise. They’d much rather use a machine incorrectly than ask for help.

And most of all, they blow right past those “No Cell Phones Allowed” signs that are posted throughout the facility as if they weren’t there. You’d think they were driving or in church.

Of course, I have seen people smoking outside the health club, so getting the message may not be as obvious as we might think.

Oh, and Happy New Year!