We were in a Whataburger south of Jackson around 7:45 Saturday night — long and painful story, especially if your bed is in Ruston or Shreveport — when a young friend asked a question stunning in its insight and relevancy.

“When did Whataburger receipts,” he said, “start looking like CVS receipts?”

Anyone in America who has ever been in a CVS Pharmacy/Store, which is anyone who has ever had a headache or cold or needed to buy a People magazine, knows that they hand you a receipt for Advil, Vick’s cough drops, and a newspaper that’s so long you could wrap two Christmas presents with it.

At the bottom are advertisements, lists of specials, and numbers to call for Customer Surveys or dating sites for people who like either hanging around drugstores or sick people or people who have a fetish for people who have long receipts.

The marketing guy for Whataburger must have been sick one day and got a CVS receipt because the folks at this popular burger chain have adopted the Long Receipt Way Of Life.

Pictured is the most recent guilty receipt. Look at that thing! It’s for a patty melt (which was good but I probably should have backed off and gotten the chicken sandwich, after seven at night and all and with miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep), fries and a tea. And the receipt is nine inches long. Nine inches!

This thing is longer than a New Orleans Saints scoring summary, and that’s saying something.

Whatareceipt…