Teddy and I have talked it over and we have come to a tough decision: We are not going to have a Designated Writers The Body edition this year.

As good as that news might be, it would be much better news had ESPN decided to do that same.

I don’t want to celebrate the naked body of any athlete or in some cases, a former athlete. I don’t care how much courage it took (talk to me about courage when they do it for free) and I don’t care what kind of statement it makes.

Please make it stop!

I got really concerned the other day when I saw the headline that “Barkley” was being featured in The Body issue. Obviously, that would be something I could never un-see. Thankfully, it was Saquan Barkley, not Charles.

I’m happy for Jerry Rice and Terrell Owens that they still look good so many years after their NFL careers have ended. I’m happy for Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe that they became the first gay couple to appear. Good for them, not for me.

I really don’t want to know about soccer star Zlatan Ibrahimovic butt tattoo (tattoos?).

Greg Norman? Really? (Use your favorite putter joke here.)

Every day they trot out a new athlete for us to “admire.” The thing is, every pose is the same! One leg crossed over the other for males; strategic hand placement for the females.

If there were ever an indication that we need football season to hurry up and get there, the ESPN Body Edition is it.

Be aware that Designated Writers might be considering careful placement of a typewriter in the future.